Lil-ougths


So - Today, after a few serious relationships, and 2 marriages later, I finally realized what my major flaw is in choosing my men.

First of all, let me explain the kind of girlfriend I've been.  I'm that attractive, kind, drama-free, compromising, "put myself in his shoes" kind of girlfriend.  I don’t complain, I don’t push when I want something, and I don’t nag.  In Boyfriend language that can be translated as Boring or probably most appropriately translated as "old faithful."

So here I am, going through life, having relationship, after relationship and getting dumped more often than getting loved, and not understanding what I could possibly be doing wrong. 

Here’s the funny part...Almost every single boyfriend who walked away from our relationship, always, (and I’m not exaggerating here) always came back a few months later wanting me back.  Claiming that he didn't know what he had in me when we were together.  Now, there were a few times when I had serious feelings for a boyfriend, so I'd let them back into my life; completely believing that he had seen the light and realized what a fantastic catch I am.  I even married two of them.

Here is my mistake.  A man who passes up on a woman like me (Loving, thoughtful, considerate, kind and willing to compromise her own childish need to be right, in order to consider the man she loves point of view - all for the sake of a healthy relationship.  Even when he never does the same thing for me.) only wants to get back into a relationship with me because of one thing: This is a man who went out and dated a bunch of selfish, hateful, princess pampered women who wanted him to give up way to much of his time and his money for the simple pleasure of being tied down. 

After a few months of blowing his money on these high-maintenance women he would quickly come to the realization that I was actually a lot less trouble  and fantastically self maintaining - and he was getting a lot more out of me for a lot less work out of him. So by saying, "Hey my mistake!  You are great!" some of these men wiggled their relationship lazy butts right back into the easy-going relationship with none other than “old faithful” me. 

In a nut shell,  these boyfriends went with "old faithful" because she's a good choice for a man who wants to put very little love, respect and work into a relationship.  He gets 150 percent from me pretty much all the time.  What percent would he have to give to me for our relationship?  About 30 - 80 percent:  30 percent on a regular day and 80 percent when he's in trouble, which is pretty much never because I really don’t complain much.

Long story short - Don't take this kind of man back into your life.  If he didn't see your worth the first time around, chances are he's not going to see it the second time around either.  Actually, in his mind he probably believes he’s settling, and that’s never good for a really fantastic woman’s ego.

Don’t become some selfish, relationship-lazy man’s settlement for what he considers love…pick a man who really, and truly see’s the value you bring to his life the first time around.  Even if it takes a while to find him.  Giving 150 percent all the time and getting 30 percent back, isn’t worth a three month relationship, let alone a life time commitment.
Mardi


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A Place You’ll Find The Wonderings And Traipsing Of An Inquisitive Mind Mixed With My Own Skewed Views Of What’s And What’s Not That is and Is Not!

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